Staying Sane But Not Single: Dating In The Modern World

Source: uk.businessinsider.com

I don’t think there has ever been a time in history where dating was easy and both sexes understood each other with complete clarity. If a time has existed with simplified dating rituals and processes, I think we can honestly say now definitely isn’t it. With an influx of dating apps and websites in previous years, our dating lives have become ever more active whilst simultaneously becoming more and more complex. I remember when I was around seventeen, I was sitting with my mum in our living room when an advert for a cliché teen drama popped up on the TV, she immediately turned around to me and said, “if I went back in time and had to do the whole young dating thing in this day and age, I’m not sure if I could deal with it all”. She then began to elaborate and explained the mammoth difference between technology and dating now compared to twenty years ago. For the first time in my life, I realized that my generation is facing a completely different type of dating battleground. Generations before us didn’t even have mobile phones to text with, let alone swipe right to spark a potential relationship. Don’t get me wrong, it is an incredible time we live in with plenty of opportunities, but along with this simplified process comes a whole host of additional issues.

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While we now have a much larger choice of potential partners, this choice can leave us confused and overwhelmed. This endless selection of partners can spoil us and our expectations. When presented with such an extensive list we may become more picky, resulting in an individual endlessly window shopping for the perfect partner. This choice has proven to make us more judgmental and may result in us dismissing a potential partner that we may have given a chance in real life. Moreover, a prodigious amount of choice can lead to more fragile relationships. The chances of infidelity in a relationship can be far greater when temptation is only a tap away, especially with Apps and sites designed for those looking to cheat such as Ashley Madison.

Source: unothegateway.com

For girls, online dating can present an age-old problem that has transferred from the real world into the cyber world, men that are solely looking for sex. This may not be breaking news but it is an issue for women across many dating sites and apps. Though there are some good guys out there, dating apps and sites create another platform in which men can bombard women with overly forward messages and unflattering pictures of their genitals. The good news is that apps like Tinder and Bumble give women more power to selectively choose and message potential partners instead of allowing waves of men to relentlessly contact them.

Like many apps, it is important to remember that your engagement should have a healthy balance with everything else in your life. Because the truth is, just like Clash of Clans or Candy Crush, dating apps can be addictive. Operant conditioning dictates that we are more likely to repeat behavior if it is rewarded, and what is more rewarding than finding out someone thinks you are attractive. When we have a match or message from someone new. For example, Tinder has been known to strategically place those who have liked you in a certain order. This produces what feels like a random success rate of who you will match with much like the system used by slot machines to keep you playing.

All of this may sound incredibly depressing, but the truth is we are living in one of the most interesting times to be single. Societal norms are now more liberal than ever and technology is constantly keeping us on our toes, spicing our dating lives up for better and for worse. I will leave you with this clip as I believe the comedian Aziz Ansari perfectly sums up modern dating in a spectacularly hilarious manner.

 

How Your Skin May Improve With Hyaluronic Acid Supplements

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Pollution, stress, and poor lifestyle choices are the common reasons why you tend to feel and look old and want to get therapy to restore your self-confidence. These things bring about roughness, sun spots, and skin diseases that show on the body and face. Worse, even a full-coverage makeup foundation may be unable to cover them. The problem, after all, lies beyond the surface.

If you want to recover your youthful-looking skin, though, you should start by taking hyaluronic acid supplements. Here are the other skincare issues that it may remedy.

  1. Wrinkles

The creases on your face indicate that the aging process has already begun. It is understandable in case you are in your 50s or 60s since the body doesn’t produce enough collagen then. However, it can be a bit depressing when the wrinkles show during your mid-20s and 30s.

A study from the Journal of Cosmetic Dermatology (luckily) gathered that hyaluronic acid could change that natural flow of events. They tested out the theory by introducing the compound and placebo to the experimental and control groups, respectively. After 30 days, the former appeared to have fuller cheeks and less saggy skin – signs that the product worked.

Source: pixabay.com

  1. Dryness

Why does the skin become dry and flaky, in general? The primary reason is that you don’t have much water underneath it.

While daily moisturizers may counter the dryness, the effect of most often stay at the surface level. Once you cleanse the face, you get rid of the product and will need to reapply to cover this problem.

For a longer lasting treatment, therefore, your best bet is the hyaluronic acid supplements. The main substance can hold water molecules more efficiently compared to other compounds. As the capsules will enter your system, it can prevent fluid loss from the inside without being washed off.

  1. Wounds

Another issue that such products may help you with is healing diverse kinds of wounds (e.g., minor cuts, bed sores, and major injuries). Normally, the last two mentioned may take weeks to cure, but the waiting period may reduce when you take hyaluronic acid supplements.

We based this idea on a comparative research published in the Wound Repair and Regeneration journal in 2012. To be specific, the substance proved to heal or decrease the size of an injury due to burns and surgery. A different study showed that hyaluronic acid healed the diabetic foot ulcer patients quicker than the conventional treatments.

Thus, taking the supplements every day might help regrow the skin on the wounded areas fast.

  1. UV Damage

Applying sunscreen isn’t a mere trend. It’s a real necessity to protect your skin components from damage. Such complications, along with fine lines and sagging, take place because of overexposure to sunlight.

Your new line of defense then should be the hyaluronic acid supplements. The active ingredient works by cancelling out the effects of the free radicals so that they can’t inflict harm. As you need to ingest them, you shield your system from the inside and protect yourself against UV radiation that may sneak past the sunblock.

Source: flickr.com

  1. Dermatitis

Dermatitis is a condition that causes the skin to flare up on the scalp, groin, and face. A doctor can recommend oral medicine or anti-yeast creams when you get a consultation. However, there isn’t a solid cure for this problem up to this day.

In case you are not a fan of the steroid that most topical ointments contain, you may substitute it with hyaluronic acid supplements. As a 2012 study displayed, within eight weeks of introducing it to patients, the inflammation did not progress, and the skin’s overall appearance improved.

Bonus: Must-Try Hyaluronic Acid Supplements

Amazing Formulas Hyaluronic Acid

This supplement not only contains 100 mg of hyaluronic acid in each capsule but also lacks allergenic ingredients. Hence, the folks who cannot tolerate fish, gluten, nuts, and dairy can consume them.

Doctor’s Best Hyaluronic Acid With Chondroitin Sulfate

The product aims to help enhance the connective tissues that may not be operating well. It also has BioCell collagen for additional support and doesn’t GMO components.

Jarrow Formulas Hyaluronic Acid

Jarrow promotes the dietary supplement as a bioavailable for skin hydration. You merely need to swallow two vegetarian capsules daily to see awesome results.

Nova Nutritions Hyaluronic Acid With Glucosamine & Chondroitin

The brand’s hyaluronic acid functions with a couple of compounds that are known to reduce arthritic issues. It may stop the premature signs of ageing as well.

NatureBell Hyaluronic Acid Plus

This vegan supplement caters to people who have diabetes, considering it doesn’t contain sugar. To be able to improve your skin without affecting other health problems is, without a doubt, incredible.

Source: pxhere.com

NOW Double Strength Hyaluronic Acid

Another impressive hyaluronate product to check out from NOW has plant extracts and organic compounds in tow. Among them is the alpha lipoic acid, which is a great antioxidant and can decrease blood sugar levels.

NeoCell Hyaluronic Acid

NeoCell advertises the substance as “nature’s moisturizer.” It is supposed to hydrate the skin, prevent collagen from collapsing, and strengthen eye tissues for better vision.

Pure Naturals Hyaluronic Acid

In this supplement, you get glucosamine, BioCell Collagen II, and chondroitin altogether to have more elastic skin. The second-mentioned, in truth, is patented by Pure Naturals and improves the absorption of the compounds.

To Recap

The hyaluronic acid supplements may come from a broad range of brands, yet one thing is for sure: any of these products can increase your chances of looking and feeling young once more. Nonetheless, we advise you to avoid self-medicating to ensure that the pills won’t go against your diet or other medication.

Good luck!

How Bipolar Disorder Can Destroy A Person

Source: empowher.com

It’s New Year’s Day and our family is on a holiday. We are in a tropical resort in the Philippines and it’s hot as ever – January 1st at 38 degrees! I never imagined we’d be spending a summer-y New Year since I’m used to snow in Seattle. I never imagined that we’d be spending so much fun time in the Philippines, of all places, on New Year’s Day, after everything. Three years ago was hell for our family, our marriage, and it was all my fault.

My husband has assured me several times (I’ve lost count) that I’m not a bad wife/mother. But no. As much as I want to believe him, I know the truth. I destroyed our family. I willingly and intentionally broke my vows and gave in to temptation. There is no excuse for what I did and yet, my husband was there, forgiving and accepting.

Do I deserve this chance? In my heart I know that I don’t. You see, I left my husband and sons three years ago and pursued a sinful affair with my business partner. At first, I was drowned in happiness and bliss. We were like honeymooners, jumping from one city to another, enjoying the false intimacy while walking hand in hand. Disgusting. He was single, but I wasn’t. I was so selfish and I even abandoned my kids and husband just so I can pursue my immoral personal desires.

Why did I do this? I am not fishing for reasons or finding ways to excuse my unforgivable behavior, but after giving birth to my second son, my mood swings turned from bad to extremely toxic. One minute I was truly happy and the next, I’d be awfully depressed. Later on we found out that I have Bipolar Disorder.

Source: empowher.com

When my “boyfriend” saw the real me, he ran in the opposite direction as fast as he could – he even sold his share of the business to a mutual friend and left the state. Of course, I didn’t take it well. I discarded my family for him and he betrayed me just like that. He didn’t want the extra hassle and my Bipolar Disorder was getting in the way. He couldn’t accept it.

And so, I was severely depressed and even lost my mind to a point that I took a blade and slashed my wrists. I felt my soul slowly slipping away and then, not long after I did it, I succumb to darkness.

Source: inlifehealthcare.com

The place smelled like vanilla and roses. The man with a beard pressed his lips on my forehead as he said – You have so much ahead of you. Go back. And then, I woke up. I saw a familiar face, those blue eyes who once captivated my heart. It was my husband and he forced a weak smile as I woke up. He squeezed my hand and told me – Don’t ever leave me again. I left all of them and was with another man, but he’s here after everything that I’ve done. I don’t deserve him, but he says that he deserves me and I’ll never understand why.

Now as I look at our life having fun in a summer-y themed Christmas after everything, I have been very lucky and blessed. I was given a second chance in everything and I will do my very best despite my being Bipolar. Online therapy helps so much and my husband and children are my medication. I will not mess this up again. I cannot do it to them again.

Mental Health Hacks Stop Caring About What People Think And Say About You

We all live in an era where we value and look forward to what other people will tell and think about us. Sometimes, it gets pleasing when the comments are all positive and endearing. However, it gets mentally and emotionally draining when it is something we don’t want to hear or know. But why is that? Why do we feel that what others think of us is necessary than what we want to tell ourselves? Why do we let them say things we know are somehow irrelevant to who we are? Why do we let these people harm our emotional and mental health?

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Pleasing Others Is Mentally Damaging

The main reason why people are so obsessed with what others think is due to self-validation. As humans, we often feel the need to prove ourselves and show people that we are good enough in everything. We don’t like it like when others are against us, and we love to know that some are on our side. It’s our nature to heed and want their approval at all cost. With that particular mentally, we disclose our true selves. That instead of showing people who we are and do the thing we like to do, we often pretend to be someone else only to please those people who already set an image of who we’re going to be. We hide what we don’t want others to know about us. In some unfortunate events, we try and destroy our personality only to give people a concrete resolution of what they thought about us. The constant focus of what others think about us only leads us to dead-end tracks.

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In some unfortunate circumstances, our self-doubts become the reason for mental degeneration. When we don’t stop caring about other people’s opinions, we tend to become stressed and anxious about everything. We will have this mentality that we are obliged to frequently prove ourselves no matter what, and do things even if it is not worthy. With that, we developed a psychological condition that will eventually grow harmful. As a result, we won’t be able to handle both our way of thinking and actions for long-term situations. So why is that bad? Well, that’s because when we get anxious and depressed, we lose interest in living. It affects all the right things in our lives and makes us dysfunctional. We can also potentially become paranoid and might suffer from sleepless nights.

Start Caring About Yourself

Pleasing others is the worst thing to do. Every individual is different, and we have to embrace that fact. There is no limit on how and who we can become. There should have to be an empowering mindset that will set us apart from the rest. It is essential to understand that it is okay to be different. That what we do doesn’t necessarily need validation from others. We have to take care of our emotional and mental health because it is what keeps us capable of doing almost everything. Yes, we can sometimes agree with other people’s perception. But it doesn’t have to determine things that will make us whole. Part of their opinion matters and for sure, it will help us improve ourselves. However, we don’t have to put too much focus on the negative things because we can still find ways to change it. We are capable of becoming better and live up to our values in life.

Source: maxpixel.ne 

Final Thought

It is indispensable that we concentrate on our life values where we can become proud of ourselves. That no matter what other people would say and think about us, it should never become a definition of who we are. We don’t have to feel embarrassed about the things we do that others don’t appreciate. We don’t have to live up with what society thinks we should become. We don’t need to check our actions and prove our worth invariably. When we finally managed to stop caring about what others used to say and think about us, it becomes a relief. We get to experience a sense of self-love. There is emotional and mental wellness too. So start appreciating yourself now. Look your best and aim to become a better version.

Cancer And Your Mental Health

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Many people with cancer develop depression during the disease. However, it is not given the much-needed attention because fighting the cancer cells is the top priority. Depression does not only affect the cancer patient but also the people around him. Therapy may be of help, but when you’re facing the possibility of death, the depression will become too strong to cope.

Studies have shown that 3 out of 4 depressed cancer patients do not undergo treatment for depression. A new treatment program was designed to help cancer patients battle with depression and at the same time enhance their life’s quality.

Good thing that mental health is given the attention that it supposedly should have years ago and it includes treating a cancer patient using the holistic approach.

Some researchers from renowned school in Europe have done impressive research connecting the frequency of occurrence of depression to cancer patients and how to improve the therapies that are being used.

Source: pixabay.com

Depression And Cancer – What’s The Story?

It is natural that when someone from your family was diagnosed with cancer, the other members would feel sad and worry. However, natural feelings and clinical depression should be clearly defined. Thus, the study that was made focused more on the clinical depression that can significantly affect the person’s ability to do the activities of daily living.

To feel the sadness when diagnosed with cancer is one thing, but being diagnosed with clinical depression together with the cancer diagnosis is another thing. Often, the latter usually go unnoticed and always get mistaken by the previous because the physical disease is more of a concern than the mental health of the person.

Without a doubt, cancer should be prioritized first. However, the mental health of the cancer patient and the people living with the patient should also be given importance.

Making a holistic approach kind of treatment does not improve the physical well-being of the patient, but most importantly it promotes the general quality of life.

Source: pixabay.com

Measuring The Problem And Trying To Solve It

During the study, researchers have found that depression is likely to happen to cancer patients than to the general population. Mainly, cancer patients who were given less chance of survival rate go through depression.

In this study, it also showed that depressed cancer patients do not react to their cancer treatment well. And if depression gets notice, only 1 out of 4 patients get an antidepressant medication.

In the second part of the study, which focuses more on improving the treatment of depressed cancer patients, the researchers have developed the DCPC or Depression Care for People with Cancer treatment program and later on compared the result to the existing treatment for cancer patients with depression.

Typically, depressed cancer patients are treated by their GPs only, but with DCPC, specially trained nurses, psychiatrists, GPs, and oncologists form the core team. Aside from giving out antidepressants, the team also encourage the patients to go on with their life and do the things that they love doing.

The nurses assist the patient in identifying their issues in life and then help them control their lives again.  The DCPC treatment is comprehensive, thorough, well structured and designed for the treatment of cancer patients. Furthermore, the new treatment is cost-effective, and it is only a small fraction of the other cancer treatments price.

Likewise, during the research, a group of depressed cancer patients whose survival rate are high where divided into two, the first group were to receive the DCPC treatment while the other gets the standard treatment. In the end, more than half of the first group shows improvement with their depression, while with the second group there were only 17% of patients that showed improvement.

Furthermore, patients who received the DCPC treatment showed better overall health and quality of life.

In the third part of the research, the treatment was tried on cancer patients who have poor prognosis like patients with lung cancer.

Many lung cancer patients continued with the standard treatment while there were some who were treated using the DCPC program. Just the same, DCPC treatment is more competent in addressing the mental health of the patient. After eight months of treatment, patients treated by the DCPC program are less anxious, less depressed and ha a better quality of life.

A Brighter Future

Living with cancer is hard and so does living with depression, but battling both of the conditions is even worse. The study that was conducted gives valuable insights on how to identify cancer patients who are most likely to suffer from depression too. Not only that, but it also shows the importance of treating the depression of a cancer patient.

More so, the research was able to prove that diagnosing clinical depression is not enough, but treatment should be done urgently. The study also shows that cancer patients recognize and accept the feeling but does not recognize them to be treatable. With the help of DCPC, cancer patients can identify and understand the sentiment and understand that they could get help in a not expensive way.

DCPC may not change the treatment of the depression to cancer patients instantly, but it gives them a new alternative.

6 Ways To Care For Your Mental Health

If there is one thing that you need to focus on your life right now, it is taking excellent care of your mental health. Remember that every single day, the number of people affected by mental illnesses keeps on increasing. For this reason, it is crucial on your part to give it your preferential attention to ensure that you continue to acquire mental stability and genuine happiness. Remember that having problems in your mental health can lead to severe conflicts with yourself as well as the people surrounding you – such as your family, friends or even lover.

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As such, you need to make it a top priority to look into your overall well-being. In this article, allow us to provide you with a comprehensive list of the tips that you need to follow to achieve the goal mentioned above. Make sure to familiarize yourself with these:

Avoid The Stressors

The first thing that you must do is to identify the stressors in your life. Once you have completed this process, it is time to prepare yourself to eliminate them slowly. For example, if you find your work to be too stressful, it is best if you would resign from the company where you are connected. Do not be afraid to eliminate the cause of stress because failure to do so will make your life miserable. The goal is to do more of what makes you happy. Conversely, do less of the things that will only bring on the pressure in your life.

Reach Out To Others

Cliché as it may sound, but it is true that no man is an island. Whether you like it or not, the reality in this world is that you cannot survive on your own. At some point in your happy life, you must have the courage to connect with the people surrounding you. Keep in mind that such does not mean that you can merely make friends even to people who make you unhappy. What is highly essential at this point is to take notice of the persons in your life who make you feel comfortable. Work harder to strengthen your relationship with them.

Source: pixabay.com

Open Up About Your Problems

As much as possible, avoid keeping your issues all to yourself. A recent study shows that the mere act of talking about one’s problems to is already therapeutic. It means that sharing to others can already improve your mood and feelings. When it comes to opening up about these things, be sure to remain honest at all times. Do not sugarcoat what you will share with others because you are only fooling yourself. At the same time, the other person may not be able to provide you with proper advice or assistance if you are not telling the truth to him. At this point, it is crucial for you to look for someone who is trustworthy so that you will not have a hard time talking about your emotions.

Be Physically Active

Improve the way you feel by engaging in physical activities on a regular basis. Stop making excuses for not taking good care of your physical health by choosing to live a sedentary lifestyle. What you must do right now is to promise yourself to go on a daily exercise until your body gets used to it. In so doing, you will not only help yourself to avoid sickness but also make you feel good about yourself. As such, continuous exercise can lift you up. Such an effect is caused by the release of dopamine, also known as happy hormones, to your body.

Eat Healthily

Follow a strict and balanced diet so that you will not have an issue about your health. Remember that obesity or being too fat can cause depression and humiliation. You will not feel comfortable about who you are if you will continue to follow a lifestyle that is abusive to your health. Find a way to eat healthy food choices so that you can avoid severe medical illnesses. Fortunately, it is now easier to follow a healthy lifestyle because of the presence of organic stores and healthy shops in different places around the globe.

Source: pixabay.com

Talk To A Therapist

Unfortunately, seeing a therapist is still considered as a taboo in many places in the world. There are still several individuals who are hesitant to meet up with a psychiatrist or a counselor because of the fear of being judged by the people around them. The truth of the matter here is that no one is supposed to make anybody feel that way. Do not think of what the people surrounding you might say if you decide to talk to a therapist. You have every right to follow what you think is best. Remember that the said professional can help you have a better understanding of yourself and your environment.

Remember the things mentioned above because every single item is crucial for the improvement of your mental health.

2015 Lakewood Counseling Symposium

The 2015 Lakewood Counseling Symposium hits a success after the empowering goal-oriented conference held in Colorado. The event was value driven, well-organized, and systematically empowering. The discussion focused on family issues and interventions. Though not all people are happy to hear tons of unresolved marital problems, they are still satisfied and happy to share their experiences and learn from it as well.

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The primary target of the event was to provide awareness to marital consequences, particularly divorce. The conference discussed the adverse impact of the marriage separation not only to the couples but also to their kids as well. Since a lot of people think that the officially authorized separation is already a norm, nobody seemed to realize its effect in children’s overall development. And because divorce becomes widely available in all states across the significant parts of the world, people think of it as a primary option for relationship resolution.

The symposium showcased different possible scenarios of divorce such as cheating, drug and alcohol abuse, violence, unsolicited advice, and a lot more. With the given causes of marriage failure, interventions are also handed out such as therapy and marriage counseling. The symposium didn’t limit its topics there. The conference also manages to incorporate financial discussion for the families’ betterment, societal and community involvement, as well as mental health awareness.

Source: pixabay.com

The danger of not involving children in discussion with regards to divorce is merely torture. Since they are part of the unit, it is their right to speak out and say what they feel. Not all people will agree to this, but kids have the right to be involved in a situation where there’s a lot of pain and heartaches. That’s because it will allow them to gather a more concise realization that the world is not always going to favor them.

Control Your Life By Getting Rid Of Anxiety With Calming Yoga

No matter the age – everyone experiences anxiety at some point in their life. It may be because of stressful work, the pressure in studies, or even trying to fit into a new group. Anxiety makes one experience nervousness, fear, apprehension, and extremely worrying. It may also cause insomnia, loss of appetite and lack of interest in sex.

Source: pixabay.com

Many people with anxiety often face social stigma. With their panic attacks and extreme nervousness, people see it as being too “exaggerated,” and “crazy.” But it is worth noting that the constant state of stress caused by anxiety could lead to clinical depression. 

 

Clinical depression should not be taken for granted. It is a serious mental health problem, and it needs to be taken care of. 

 

A Complementary Therapy

For a person with anxiety, it would feel as if there is no control over his or her own mind and body. It would feel heavy, and almost numb. Yoga can be the lifeline of those experiencing anxiety. It could significantly help decrease the panic attacks, and let the person sleep better at night. 

Source: freestockphotos.biz

Also, yoga gives a sense of peace in a turbulent time and soothes the jagged spikes of stress as no simple medication can. It is an excellent complementary therapy suggested by many therapists and doctors. 

 

Can Yoga Reduce The Symptoms Of Anxiety? 

The answer is YES. There is science behind yoga for anxiety. 

 

The mindfulness meditation in yoga could reduce the signs of anxiety. Madhav Goyal, MD, claims how our mind can be carried away “with worrying about things which might happen, and this makes you feel worse and can cause other symptoms, like insomnia.” 

 

His understanding of yoga and meditation was “it teaches people specific skills to help counteract the tendency of anxiety, like staying in the moment, recognizing worried thoughts when they’re happening.” On top of that, preventing anxiety from getting so much worse. 

 

Best Yoga Poses

 

  • Garudasana (Eagle Pose) 

 

While trying it for the first time may seem awkward and weird, this eagle pose really brings out your strength, flexibility, and unwavering concentration. Practicing this balancing pose helps quiet the mind and bring attention to the body. It is suggested to do the eagle pose for 30-60 seconds on each side. 

 

 

  • Salamba Sirsana (Headstand)

 

It may seem complicated, but you can always try it against the wall. Headstand helps ease anxiety by reversing the blood flow and forcing you to keep your breath and body in check. 

 

  • Balasana (Child’s Pose)

This pose doesn’t require too much effort, but it will give the most effective benefits. Sitting on the knees and bending forward with arms by your side is a very comforting and relaxing position. It helps slow the mind and relieve anxiousness. 

 

  • Savasana (Corpse/ Dead Body Pose) 

Start by lying down on your back. Place your arms at your sides, and your palms are facing the sky. Close your eyes. Focus on your breath for one to 5 minutes. It is guaranteed you’ll feel very relaxed after sitting back up. The sense of sinking down into the ground in such a peaceful manner heals.

Source: flickr.com

Even medical professionals and counselors from Betterhelp are now suggesting yoga as a tool to relieve anxiety and take back control of the mind and body. Yoga can be done anytime, anywhere, and at one’s own pace. There are many group sessions present nowadays, but if the concern is a little more privacy, one can always do yoga in the comfort of their own home.

Divorcing My Husband Of 20 Years – How I Healed And Moved On

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I didn’t know that it would hurt this bad. It was super painful. From a scale of 1-10, my agony over this hell is 100. And it’s just getting stronger.

 

The pain I’m feeling now is like no other ache in this world. I know a lot of physical pain because I’m a mom. My body has endured five births for the last twenty years. Giving birth is nothing compared to this. I’ve tried surgery too, and post-op was excruciating. I would rather experience ten post-ops than go through this again. Heartbreak – it’s a pain like nothing else.

 

Facing The Reality

 

I’m not a romantic. People call me a realist even, but when I saw my husband hand-in-hand with a young blonde who is 15 years my junior, my breathing stopped. It’s like as if no air went inside my nostrils. Air didn’t reach my lungs. I just stood there, not knowing what to do, as my world turned to a halt. Everything was in slow motion as I was staring at them, giving each other kisses and loving hugs.

 

My friends told me about my husband seeing a 20-something bimbo. I didn’t believe them, and now, I saw it for myself.

 

Sigh, okay. The woman is not a slut. I’m just too hurt that’s why I called her a bimbo, and I wanted to put her down. That woman is sleeping with my husband, the father of my five children, and the person I was supposed to stay married to until the end of time for me. Knowing now that he has betrayed me, I may be facing divorce.

 

Why Did He Have To Lie?

 

If he didn’t love me anymore and wanted other women, why did he have to lie to me? This thought has been going on and on inside my head. It would have been better if he was upfront and told me to my face – Hey, Betsy. You’re old, and I’m sick of you. I want to bang other women and dang – did I say you’re old?

 

And I can even manage to make fun of myself. How funny indeed!

Source: flickr.com

The Revelation

 

I made it a night to remember for us. After I discovered his infidelity, I planned the perfect revelation moment. I was going to blow up on his face, and I’d like to see how he’d respond.

 

It was a make or break kind of scenario, but what have I got to lose? There are only two things that can come out of this – he leaves me and will be with her, or he dumps her and will be with me. I don’t like both outcomes, honestly. But I’m dramatic for a realist. This thing had to be done.

 

When he came home that same week on a Saturday, probably after being with her, dinner was waiting for him. I prepared his favorite which was Paella Negra and bought white Gewürztraminer wine. This night was a celebration – ending the lies in our marriage is worth celebrating, right? The table was set, and I used my mother’s china and silverware. I was also wearing high heels and a white A-line silhouette dress with Ruby Woo lipstick. For a 45-year-old woman, I sure looked beautiful and elegant.

 

He noticed the glow immediately and may have complimented me. What he said, I didn’t hear. Everything in the small chit-chat before the revelation was a blur to me. I just put on a sheepish smile, and he observed that too.

 

“What’s with the weird smile, baby?” He said.

 

“Was my smile weird?” I asked him.

 

“Yeah, what’s up?” He replied.

 

“Oh, nothing.” I said. “Oh yeah, it’s something. I almost forgot. I saw you last Tuesday at Green Garden Hotel.” He tensed up when I said that. “She’s young and pretty, too.” My voice was cold as ice.

 

“What are you talking about, babe?”He nervously asked me.

 

“Baby, there’s no need for you to deny or to hide the truth. And it’s okay. Truly. I’ve accepted the fact that my husband of 20 years and the father of my children is screwing another woman. Your pictures are here on my phone, checking in that slimy hotel as Mr. and Mrs. Scott. Is she Mrs. Scott now? That was fast, huh?” I was surprised at how strong it came out.

 

I stood up and started clearing the table. My husband was still sitting down, and his face was in shock.

 

“It’s not what it looks like;” my husband attempted to say. I cut him off before he can tell me more lies.

 

“Ricky, that’s enough. I’m angry, but I’m not exploding in front of you. The kids are asleep upstairs, and I don’t want them to wake up and see us arguing. There are only two things I want to say to you. One, you should have told me that you didn’t want to be with me anymore. It didn’t have to end this way. We could have parted ways amicably. But with what you did now, everything will be different. The last thing that I wanted to say – I’m filing for a divorce. And I want everything.” I walked out the door after that last sentence.

 

I left him that night and slept in a hotel. My tears were buckets, and I cried all night until the next morning. It was real. We were divorcing, and nothing is going to stop it now.

 

After The Reality Of Divorce

 

The pain eventually subsided, and my life went on. I got the kids and half our estate. There was also monthly support from him, and it was fun at first to see him squirm.

 

He wanted to get back together, but why would I? I may have healed from his betrayal, and in a way, I have forgiven him for what he did tome and our marriage. That doesn’t mean I have to come back to scraps and hand-me-downs. I may be old, but I have standards.

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Moving On

 

I’m just trying to live my life now, and that means taking care of the kids, yoga every day after work, seeing my therapist every weekend, and dating this 50-year-old hunk who adores my children and me. Since my ex-husband, I have learned that I should never settle for second-best. I should always be a priority and I deserve the best.

No matter how painful it was, I healed. I recovered, and I moved on with my life. It was never easy, but I did it.

Top 10 Web Forums For Relationship Counseling, Advice And Support (Part 2)

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As said in the previous post, this is part two of the Top 10 web forums for relationship counseling, advice, and support. A long post will bore readers, and that’s why this article was divided into two. 

 

Anyway, it’s better to discuss fewer things in one go so that the reader will absorb all of it. This blog is about relationship help and blowing too much information at one time will confuse the person reading it. With this, the discussion continues as people need all the help they can get when it comes to their love life.

 

Marriage Builders Discussion Forums

 

The Marriage Builder Discussion Forums is composed of an active community. People come and go to seek marriage-related support, tips, advice, answers, and encouragement. It also helps couples even to strengthen and rekindle their love for each other and find ways on how to bond together as a family as well.

 

There is also a question and answer column in this forum. Dr. Harley, the creator of Marriage Builders and a well-renowned author, compiled a list of topics that patients of his asked advice on over the years. It is a very worthy read, and if you have queries that are a bit sensitive, you can scroll down on this column. 

 

Marriage Helper Forums

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Joe Beam and his team’s work, the Marriage Helper, has been assisting people on their marriages since 2011. To do this, they are using trends in relationships to make marriages work and for couples to stay together using new and innovative techniques. Issues such as sex, intimacy, resentment, affairs, and economic problems are also being tackled in the forum.

 

MedHelp Communities

 

The forums at MedHelp provides relationship and family counseling. To even help people more efficiently, separate forums for the community-based answers and professional advice are put up.

 

If you notice on the site, the top forum is about diabetes. If you or your partner are suffering from this disease, it can be a helpful community. Everything is practically on this site, and they have all kinds of sources when it comes to physical and mental health. As for relationship issues, it would be best to go to their Mental Health – Relationships community forum.

 

Talk About Marriage

 

This forum talks about a marriage or a relationship from different standpoints in life to even better understand how things work. They also provide several tips for couples to stay together amidst problems and for families to have a more loving relationship.

 

You Are Not Alone

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Having issues and problems in life makes you seem that no one is with you. But with You Are Not Alone, you are indeed not alone as forum members of this community are there to support you. Hold on and never give up on your life and your loved one – that is if there’s still love in your heart.

 

Including the first post, these are just ten of the best places to seek advice and answers when facing some family or relationship issues. Don’t hesitate to join these forums. If you want, post your problems anonymously, and answers will show up in no time. Other messages of support will also come your way.