Most dreams and hopes for relationships go like this:
Step one, meet “The One.”
Step two, fall in love deeply
Step three, get married
And, lastly, live happily ever after.
However, that is almost never the case. Sometimes, marriage may feel like a chokehold instead of a warm embrace. Diving into marriage is, without a doubt, a lot of work. The relationship has gotten more profound, and there is a more significant responsibility of keeping the foundation of trust and respect between the couple intact and well.
But with or without trust and respect, facing troubles and hurdles is inevitable in marriage. Anything, even the most minuscule matter, can tick your partner off or lead to broader issues. The union and stability the couple once had can be threatened by stress or tension. That’s where the need to save the marriage kicks in.
Do We Need Marriage Counseling?
How do you know if you and your partner need marriage counseling? The following signs and behaviors are essential in figuring out whether or not you might need professional help:
Talking To Walls
Most problems in relationships often spring up because of lack of communication (whether it’s one-sided or caused by both parties). Counseling and therapy can provide alternatives or measures to improve deteriorating communication between couples. It won’t feel like you’re talking to walls anymore.
Arguments here, and discussions there. Do you argue over everything? Arguing even over the smallest things can escalate and overpower logical thinking. Sometimes it’s not also the matter you’re discussing together. The tone of one’s voice can easily irritate the other party, which may lead to emotional and verbal abuse. It’s always best to watch what you’re saying, especially how you say it.
Afraid Of Communication
The relationship may break down if there is the fear of bringing up issues. This clouds how the partners see each other and what they genuinely want to discuss. A therapist can help you clear out this judgment, allowing the couple to be open about each other’s issues and difficulties.
It is true that both partners have a right to privacy, but keeping secrets from each other, especially thoughts on the relationship, can be mentally taxing.
You’re The Bad Guy
Something isn’t right when you see your partner as the “villain” or the “antagonist.” The couple shouldn’t be against each other. Instead, they need to work as a team. Counseling can help you and your partner sort out your feelings about each other.
Having Or Considering An Affair
It takes a lot of patience and hard work to recover if your significant other has had an affair. Although it’s not impossible, it’s difficult to forgive and move on entirely. Counseling sessions can help the couple to be honest and decide how to fix the marriage, especially when you feel like you desire “someone” else.
Living And Staying Together Is A Chore
There is a need for marriage counseling when the couple feels like they’re only there to “just occupy the same space.” The lack of communication and intimacy can be very detrimental to the relationship.
If you feel like everything you believe in is entirely against the beliefs of your partner, then there is a need to seek for professionals. Sometimes, it’s only difficult for the couple to resolve their differences because even if they know what’s wrong, they don’t know how to deal with it.
Staying Together Only For The Children
Children are very intuitive and observant. They can tell whether or not their parents are happy. With that said, children shouldn’t be the deciding factor in keeping a marriage. Counseling and therapy can help in achieving a more comfortable and healthier relationship, and improve the overall mood of the family.
Some couples have separated because they waited too long to seek professional help or an objective third party. It is essential to keep an honest mind and be open to many suggestions and considerations of saving a marriage.